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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22696912">We have a Valentine's tourney problem here</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Knight41/pseuds/Knight41'>Knight41</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>One shots, but who knows [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Call Me By Your Name (2017), Call Me By Your Name (2017) RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - High School, Enemies to Lovers, Half the people is queer in this AU, Jock Armie, Liz is, M/M, Misunderstandings, Nerd Timmy, Saoirse and Ansel are Timmy's best friends, Timmy doesn't swear this much normally but this is the worst day of his life, Timmy is shy, Valentine's Day, and has a crush on Armie, approximately, but he isn’t an asshole, obviously, ok let’s say three quarters, sorry Elizabeth</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 03:14:07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,182</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22696912</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Knight41/pseuds/Knight41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>There's Timmy.<br/>There's Valentine's day (actually, the day before it).<br/>There's a tourney.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Timothée Chalamet/Armie Hammer</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>One shots, but who knows [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1632505</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>33</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>We have a Valentine's tourney problem here</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>-Fuck Valentines, fuck Valentine's day…_ Tim snaps, after finishing fighting with the massive blob of perfumed letters that amasses his locker and slamming its door shut. He turns around with a desperate sigh. -... and fuck you, Sersh. It's all your fault, and-_ he looks at her friend. -Why on hell do you keep giggling like the fucking Valentine's version of a Christmas elf on drugs?!?_</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That makes it even worse. -It's just-_ she stops, taking a deep breath. - It's... I wouldn't even have imagined that-_</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He glares at her. -Shut up!_</span>
</p><p>
  <span>- Listen-_, she closes her locker. - It didn't go as intended, ok? The baseball team was discussing in the canteen whether you would freak out if four members would propose to you to be their Valentine at the same time, they were even planning to take turns in asking, and I just suggested-_</span>
</p><p>
  <span>- A fucking tourney! A TOURNEY, Sersh! In which I am the golden fucking prize! What do you have in your mind?_</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-I was just joking! But they took me seriously since we're best friends, and then the word spread, and soon the gay guys of the baseball team were applying, they even made a fucking telegram group._ she tells him, suppressing a laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He rolls his eyes, raises his head to the ceiling. -Why every Valentine's Day must be a total mess for me? Like all these letters weren't enough!_</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She holds her hands up. -It was your choice to come out the month before Valentine's day, I had warned you._</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He finishes putting his books into his backpack, and they start walking towards the class.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-You should have warned me against my very own objectifying friends._</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-Come on! It's not like an automatic thing, you could always refuse the winner and..._</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-Pick the second one? Like a fucking job appliance? What the fuck are you all thinking? Like if I hadn't any personal preference._</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-Yeah, maybe that was a shitty move, but, you know, it's not a secret you're not a first mover..._ he frowns. -... but you have a lot of wonderful personality traits, that's why you're the most eligible boy in school, </span>
  <em>
    <span>and</span>
  </em>
  <span> my friend_ she adds proudly. - It's going to be alright._ she assures him once the bell starts ringing, and they have to separate.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Turns out, it doesn't. By the end of the class, every jock in school is applying to this fucking tourney that, as things stand at the moment, has become a machistic prove of toxic masculinity rather than Timmy's -wannabe-Valentine competition. But still, Timmy's name is on everyone's lips. And to make things worse, Hammer is applying, too. Yes, that Hammer, the fucking sexy and fucking taken and fucking straight quarterback Timmy had a crush on since day one. Obviously, it's for impressing his girlfriend Elizabeth "but friends call me Liz" Chambers and for the sake of competition itself, not the prize. Timmy wouldn't stand a chance against the vice president of the cheerleaders, not like, he actually wanted to. The guy is a total asshole. Always with his football buddies, laughing like a pack of monkeys behind people's back. Like, that time when poor Travis showed up in the canteen with some toilet paper stuck on the back of his jeans. They had mocked him so hard Trav had to stay home until the end of the semester. Rumor has it that before Liz, between his first and second year, he had gone with so many girls that he had gained the nickname "Hammer the Banger". It was something rapidly dropped by his friends after the golden boy, and his perfect cheerleader girlfriend got together, but still. Elizabeth had, in some way, managed to change him, and now they were like, the ideal couple. Something that Timmy wasn't jealous of, not at all. If Timmy was indeed-... some kind of good looking (- Stop telling that you aren't, you wouldn't have so many people after you._ Saoirse had told him many times), Hammer was a fucking greek god. A straight greek god, actually. A walking oxymoron. Oh my god, why on hell was Timmy now thinking of oxymorons in the middle of a fascinating math les-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>- Chalamet, are you with us?_ the professor asks suddenly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Timmy blushes, nods, - </span>
  <em>
    <span>Earth to Timmy-Tim, earth to Timmy-Tim</span>
  </em>
  <span>_ erupts that jerk of Ansel in a robotic voice. - </span>
  <em>
    <span>We have a Valentine's tourney problem here, over.</span>
  </em>
  <span>_ The entire class bursts out laughing, and Timmy just wanna bury himself under that very spot.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>How does Timmy know Hammer is applying? Obviously, Ansel, his "dear friend" (-Hey! That hurt!_), who always seems to read his mind at the worst fucking times, has plentily mocked him about that between periods.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>- Timothée Chalamet Hammer, how wonderful does it sound?_ he had grinned. And Timmy would have really, really liked to slap him right on the face, but he had been too focused to check if anyone was listening -thankfully, no one - and not to get his very first day of detention in his life and-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>- Look at you! Looking for eavesdropper and, in the meantime, blushing like a riped cucumber! Busted!_ Ansel excitedly had muttered. - Don't worry, Timo, your little secret is safe with me, Sersh won't know. Like, it's very clichè and all, but who am I to judge._)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yeah, he had managed to screw his little secret about his little crush on the quarterback with the most moron of his friend. The very same friend who is dating Ncuti, the fucking president of the cheerleaders, whose Hammer's girlfriend is second in command and best friend.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>- Fuck my life._ he murmurs, hands on his head, and suddenly all the class is laughing again, because obviously - fucking obviously - he didn't actually mutter it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And obviously - fucking obviously -, his teacher has heard him. And, out of the entire teaching personnel, it happens she's the most prude. And of course, of course, of fucking course, Timmy is getting detention while this whole tourney disaster is taking place. Like he didn't have any plans to interrupt it. To explain to everyone that applied because they really were interested in dating him that he never would accept this shitty thing. To threaten even.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>- Don't worry, I'll take care of all of this._ Saoirse assures him once he finally gets to meet her. - Ans will help, too. Right, Ansel?_ she asks, receiving a groan as a response. - See? Everything's gonna be alright._</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Turns out, it doesn't. Turns out, Hammer has won. Turns out, Liz has convinced him to ask Timmy out, "because I'm not in town tomorrow, Timmy is a nice guy, and nobody here is taking the prize you won out of your hands."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>- Or something like that._ a very embarrassed Ansel tells him, he eavesdropped the conversation (-Well, they were actually arguing, to be honest._).</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Well, fuck Hammer and his now-not-so-perfect girlfriend. Fuck them both. Timmy is not an object and is going to say no. Definitely.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Definitely.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>As usual, English is not my first language. Hope this wasn’t a problem, but if you spot some mistakes or have suggestions just let me know :)<br/>Feel free to leave a comment (shall I continue this?)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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